Scott Peck has been quoted as stating that ‘mental health’ is “a commitment to reality at all costs.” I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly challenging to consistently make my outside match my inside. Honesty, authenticity, transparency, integrity — these are skills that are learned implicitly and explicitly as we develop from children to adults, our family relationships being the crucible within which we all form the answer to the question ‘who I am’? That was the sacred task of the counseling that I did, to walk alongside people in their search for wholeness, i.e. where your ‘outside’ matches your ‘inside’.
Learning to be vulnerable is an ardous task and . Vulnerability is learning to be seen. I’ve heard it said that healthy vulnerability, though, is when you express your “good, bad, and ugly.” Vulnerability is just sitting in your discomfort and being seen. Instead of running away from or medicating, you stay put when things get tough and simply feel your feelings even if by staying you subject yourself to more hurt. That’s what being authentic, and whole is all about.
The word “wholeness” actually comes from the Latin root word salus, which is also where we get the word “salvation.” In the dictionary, wholeness simply means unity, entirety, completeness, and health. Wholeness refers to the interrelatedness of the parts of a family system, in which the system as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts. So, if you affect change in one part of the system it will affect the entire system. Often small changes in one area of our lives, lead to dramatic changes in other areas. Applying this to relationships, we cannot give what we do not possess.
Wholeness is the process of unifying all the parts of who we are — our mind, our heart, our body, our soul, and our relationship with others — and living in authenticity, vulnerability without compartments. This is our responsibility, and when we choose to live this way, we experience freedom, strength, and hope . . .